| Happy Birthday, Peg! |
[Aug. 22nd, 2008|11:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | My Bloody Valentine - "When You Sleep" | ] |
Judge a man by how he treats his Mother? Scary thought. I hope people have never judged me by the relationship (or lackthereof) I have with mine. My Mom made a decision that affected my childhood more than she ever imagined possible. She chose to marry a 19 year-old man. I was 5 at the time. Long story short, the two of us grew up together and it stunted my emotional growth a little. I despised her because of the events that happened during my childhood. Water under the bridge at this point, but a story well worth getting off my chest for the seventy-fifth time.
My Mom celebrated a birthday today. Every year that passes makes me feel a little emptier inside. I've never had a normal relationship with her. I really regret that. On a day that I should shower her with affection, the best I could manufacture was an e-mail greeting. I wish life would've been different for her, you know? I wish she would've been dealt a better hand.
I'm at a point in life where I get along well enough with my Mom and Dad (adopted father, never met my biological Dad) to be content. I should make an attempt to change that. I know they're both extremely proud of who I've become. I hope to feel the same about them one day. It's hard to leave the weight behind. I've tried many times over. I pretend the voices from the past doesn't haunt me anymore. I'm only fooling myself. |
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rocksellout's journal
